


what if...

by orphan_account



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:10:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23316673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: ✴  🎀  𝓂🏵𝓈𝓉 𝓇𝑒𝒸𝑒𝓃𝓉:  🎀  ✴ callum waited for simon?---------------hi!new fic idea.now this whole fic is basically a temper tantrum because i never get the scenes i want, or they never have the outcome i want. so i thought, because i cannot simply just leave it be, i need to rewrite the scenes because im that petty...i dont see me updating regularly, only when something happens that i dont like or dont agree with!dont come at me if you dont agree with my opinion. i will be inserting an explanation along with each chapter, so dont come at me before taking into consideration my reasons for rewriting them. i am happy for you to say what you think of the chapter, and pls do, because i love interaction with my readers. also pls do say if you want a scene to be rewritten. im not promising i will write it for ya, i will only write if i agree...last but not least, enjoy! make use of this safe space we have, and please speak up if somethings on your mind! ily xlove,ballumm x
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 10
Kudos: 17





	1. callum had walked out?

**Author's Note:**

> what if callum had walked out?
> 
> this has literally been on my mind since yesterdays episode aired. i really felt that callum shouldve walked out, and left ben to realise how bad he has messed up. i constantly feel as if callum is chasing ben, and its about time ben puts some effort into the relationship. callum did a great job standing up for himself, but kinda let himself down by giving in to ben at the end. i get that everyone needs a hug, but callum is barely coping as it is, and he needs to start being selfish and putting himself first. 
> 
> let me know what you think: did callum do the right thing by comforting ben after all he's put callum through?

"WHAT ABOUT ME!" Callum screamed, the numbness of his heart beginning to spread around the rest of his body. It was a constant battle with Ben, who's issues were worse. Day and night, Callum would push his needs to the side just to make sure Ben was happy, and he was sick of not receiving the same treatment.

Ben stood there, shocked. It wasn't until now that he realised he was destroying Callum. He tried to speak, but the words got trapped, so a tense silence filled the room.

"Stop trying to make yourself feel better by making everyone else feel worse." Callum finally breathed. He had a pounding headache, and in all honesty wanted to go home and drink until he couldn't feel anymore.

"I know...I'm sorry!" Ben whispered, desperate. The high-pitched ringing in his ears shot through him. He tried to block out the noise with his hands, but it never went. "I'm. Sor. Ry!" He shouted, pounding at the counter. This was the only way to deal with his emotions now; punch something till he could feel something, anything.

Callum paused, staring at Ben who was still muttering 'sorrys', sobbing his heart out. He needed to do what was best for him. For the first time in his life, he had to be selfish. He picked up his bag, and slung it over his shoulder. He reached for the handle, before another desperate cry filled the room.

"Callum please you can't leave me!" His wails of despair were blood curdling. It killed Callum to leave Ben like this, but if he kept giving in, would it ever get better?

"We're done." Callum spoke breathless, turning the handle and leaving. Memories came flooding back from Christmas. Callum had come a long way from being too scared to speak out, to finally being straight when something annoyed him. He could still hear Ben's cries, maybe even a glass smashing, but if he went back to get him, he would only get hurt again.

After what seemed like hours, Ben finally managed to calm down slightly, as he sat slumped against the cabinet. He reached for his phone from his pocket, clicking on Callum's name.

_Ben - Please Cal, give me one more chance. I promise I'll do better._

Except he didn't receive a reply. Maybe this is what it felt like to be ignored, to be unwanted. Maybe this is how Callum felt all this time.

Callum couldn't remember much of the walk home, somehow ending back at his flat. He shuffled through the door, and his heart dropped when he caught sight of Stuart on the couch.

"You alright bruv?" He seemed cheerful. Maybe Stuart's team won the footie?

"Going bed." Is all that Callum managed to say, before he dragged himself to bed, with hope Ben would soon begin to care.

**"You ask for a second chance but how am I supposed to give it when you are too busy for me?"**


	2. callum waited for simon?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what if callum waited for simon?
> 
> \---------
> 
> right, so i was watching some yt vids on ballum, and found myself watching callum and simon's date. this got me wondering...what if callum waited for simon to come back from the bathroom, and they continued their date? how would callum feel? i really liked simon, he was such a sweet guy, and i hope he makes another appearance! so for you simon fans, if there are any out there!?, here!

It had been several minutes since Simon had cleared off to the bathroom, and Callum was at war with his thoughts. Should he leave, or would it be better for him if he stayed? If he left, the night would probably result in him crying alone in his bed. But what if he stayed. Maybe his evening would be better, maybe he would get the chance to be listened to. Ben had ended things so selfishly, after Callum's offer of love and support. Ben being Ben, he had shut him down, leaving a hollowness in Callum's heart that ached to be filled again.

Simon wandered back, taking a seat on the chair opposite. He gave Callum a slight smirk, his eyes full of kindness.

"You stayed?" Simon asked, beyond belief. After a night of silence and doing most of the talking, he was half expecting Callum to be gone by the time he came back, but for some reason he was still here. Callum was now smiling too, and the mood seemed to shift from awkward to comfortable, both men growing closer through the night.

The club was packed, and people were scattered all about the dance floor.

"Fancy a dance?" Callum asked curiously, taking a swig of his beer.

_"I don't like the track, and besides, I don't dance." Ben whispered in his mind._

"I'd love to!" Simon jumped from his seat, taking hold of Callum's hand as he dragged him to the dance floor.

_I've been told I've been told to get you off my mind..._

Callum swayed gently with Simon's movements. It wasn't until now that he had noticed Simon was an extremely similar height to Ben, when Simon's face fit perfectly in the crook of his neck. Callum could feel the steady breaths hitting his skin, something he had only felt with Ben. 

_But I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind..._

Callum could still feel the emptiness that had set in his heart, something he gathered wouldn't fade for a long time. He was so scared to lose Ben, despite his lack of love in return. He never wanted to forget Ben. He needed to remember his touch, his smell, his taste, just his presence. He can't let Ben go. 

_Oh my lord, oh my lord, I need you by my side..._

Callum had seemed to drift from reality now, seemingly floating in the clouds. Ben was stood with him, holding his hand, smiling up at him. It felt right, him and Ben. Although he was probably 5 minutes round the corner, Ben seemed miles away, and Callum was desperate for Ben to be by his side once more. 

"Thank you for staying." Simon spoke shyly, rubbing Callum's arms with his hands.

"I'm glad I did." Callum replied, a soft smile on his face.

"Can we do this again?" Simon asked, leaning into Callum. The older man wrapped an arm round Simon, holding him.

"I'm sure I can arrange something." He said simply. Callum turned around, leaving the Albert, thankful it was over. He wouldn't have got through the night if Simon didn't resemble Ben as much as he did. Maybe this was a message, perhaps a sign. He needed to get Ben back.

**" **My heart won't let you go, and I need you to know, I miss you."****


End file.
